hyperactive

I've been silent lately because our router/modem system died and we have not get new one yet. I'm using wifi through my phone and that is so slooooooooow it makes me crazy.

I have not been up much lately. Mostly skijoring and jogging and trying to figure out my future. There is application for colleges starting in next month and I think I have some idea what I'm going to do.

Week ago or so, me and my fiancé had really deep conversation about me and my social problems. He said he thinks that I am highly sensitive person. He has been seen some program from TV about it and thought that I might be that kind of person.

Before that I actually have been thinking that I might have asperger's syndrome because I am interested so odd things and I am really odd person after all. But there was also a lot of things in asperger's that didn't really describe me. For example, I have quite good social skills but asperger's usually don't have.

There is defects in me that my social anxiety/phobia usually can explain and lot of things that I don't know why they happen in me. Like, if I get too excited I usually start crying because I can't handle the overwhelmingness of the feeling I feel. It has been scary and has made my social life hard because I'm really ashamed when I start crying and I can't do anything for it to stop.

I don't know why I felt so reliefing when I today studied a little about highly sensitiveness. I actually got really happy and I also was a little hyperactive by coffee. But like, I have always said that even the slightest bit of alcohol has got my head buzzing but my hunny haven't never believed it and a half cup of coffee makes me hyperactive (neither he believed that) and got my heart bouncing - it all comes together now. I am HSP.

I actually feel really strong now. I know what's going on in me and I can find a strategy to manage in everyday life. I have not made anything in my mind - my experiences are true, my feelings are true, I am true.

Darng. That feels soooooo goood.

Omg. I'm 22.

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Sitting inside in warm and quite cozy sofa. It's dark outside. It's almost Christmas. I love this feeling.

I put my aquarium to getting ready for triops. I think I will put the eggs on the water at Christmas eve.

Because I don't really have anything important to write, I will ask a question. You can answer at comments.

What would you like to know about Finnish culture and traditions - or about me?

:)

I've a lot of going on !

The house is finally clean. I'm proud of myself. I'm ready for Christmas!

I started a project against school bullying - or bullying in general - and I have been planning it. I also want to open a new forum for book and writing enthusiast. There's not much of them in Finland so I wish I would get some active discussers.

I was visiting at my dad and brother about a week in Southern Finland. Those pictures under this post are taken back there. I'm home now. That one week was enough. I don't still really like my parents as I used to. I get along them pretty well but I don't really enjoy their company. Or mom is quite okay now but my dad has get really lunatic and it is sometimes really frustrating to try to have discussion with him.
Like, he was thinking that our younger dog eats too much so the dog's food bag will shrink too quickly and I should feed him only this or that amount of food. Dad didn't really get the point when I said him that I need to feed the dog so much that he will not try to check my kitchen lockers trough for food. Our dog consumes more than his dog so it has to eat more than his dog. Joiku will not make it with lesser food because he starts to searching more food. So I have to keep him full and happy. This is something that my dad didn't get. Or he didn't really want to even listen because he thought he was right no matter what.

It's sort of funny that my dog eats already food for sporting dogs which has more energy than regular and also a double-sized meal so he wouldn't lose any weight. And he is completely healthy dog. It just is his metabolism.

Today we were visiting dog park.

It's like a Dark Paradise

 I visited at Library today.

I borrowed these books:
Helena Waris: Talviverinen
Helena Waris: Vuori
Peter Watts: Sokeanäkö (Blindsight)
Duodecim & Punainen risti: Hädän hetkellä
Merja Leppälahti: Vahvaa väkeä
Suomalaisen Kirjallisuuden Seura: Kanteletar

I also got some mail - my course picture from emotional/mental support course I accomplished in last month.

I have not done anything special today. I woke up at 0811. Then I proceeded to open my computer, searched for a job and chatted a while with one old friend in Facebook. After that I visited in the library and took few postcards in the mail. Three Postcrossing cards to America, Lithuania and Germany.